Information and tools for coping with emergencies mentally

Parental Guidance on Managing Child Traumatic Stress

Children experience trauma differently depending on their age group and even within the same age group. Regression to actions typical of younger children can occasionally be observed. Smaller kids can become withdrawn or show signs of appetite loss. Older kids might be irritable, sensitive, and easily angered. Confrontational behavior or bedwetting are other possible, too.

Parents can help provide short-term relief to their children's traumatic stress responses.

Stress and traumatic stress in children after a disaster

This way you can ease the appearance of difficulties down the road:

  • Your children's response to the crisis is influenced by your response as their parents. Therefore, it is important that we, the parents, talk with other grownups or professionals, in order to be ready to talk to our children.
  • Each child reacts differently to the trauma. You should not expect all of your children to react the same way. Just be there for them.
  • Listen to your children's stories. It is important to spend time with your children and talk to them or just be together. During breaks between activities, children may want to speak. In case of relatively younger children, you may need to repeat some information a number of times.
  • Talk to your children on subjects of their choosing, not necessarily about their feelings or about the situation. Talk to your children about the incident openly and honestly. It is important to continue to talk about normal life events in order to maintain their mental well-being.
  • Give your children concrete information about the disaster and about how the disaster zone is different from their current environment (if it is relevant) and help them self-regulate their feelings of sympathy with the victims or toward the situation.
  • Explain that the disaster is not their fault in any way.
  • Try to maintain their familiar daily routine and their familiar schedule as much as possible. Going to school, regular times for family gathering and bedtime stories can calm children and help them feel safe and healthy. Avoid introducing new routines.
  • Increase children's sense of control and "ownership" at home, let them plan dinner or afterschool activities.
  • It is recommended that you restrict your children's access to television and other sources of information about the disaster and its victims.
  • Older children and teenagers may feel upset. Help them understand their behaviors and set boundaries for them.
  • Be patient and understanding if your children regress to earlier behaviors, such as behaviors related to using the toilet or inability to sleep when they are alone.
  • We need to remind our children that they are safe and that we are with them.

Children's reactions to stressful situations and recommendations for parents in the short term

Sign Details What you should do What you should not do
Staying by the parent's side and needing their proximity for comfort Refusing to stay alone, refusing to go to school or preschool Restore your children's sense of security. Stay with the children as much as possible. Talk to them to calm them and maintain their normal daily routine. Avoid expressions of anger and derision, encourage your children to say goodbye but do not confront them.
Eating issues Lack of appetite, vomiting, spitting out food. Maintain normal mealtimes and eating habits. Do not worry. Healthy children will ask for food themselves.  Do not force your children to eat and do not fight them.
Cleanliness problems Regression to childlike behavior, bedwetting and issues related to using the toilet. Talk to your children to help them relax. Help your children keep regular toilet use times. Do not be angry with your children and do not confront them. This will only increase their stress.
Nightmares and difficulty sleeping Fear going to sleep, fear of waking up from nightmares, fear of staying alone in the dark Maintain regular sleeping routines. Talk to your children about their fears. When your children are scared, stay with them in your bed and not theirs. Do not give them sleep medications without consulting a physician first.
Aggression Physical aggression towards other family members, confrontational behavior, obstinacy (this behavior is resultsfrom the child's sense of helplessness). Talk to your children and encourage them to express themselves. It is important to make them understand that there is a limit to their demands and to your tolerance of their aggression. Allow your children to express their fears through painting, psychodrama or talking. Stop aggressive children and make them calm down, with determination but not with aggression.
Hyperactivity Argumentativeness, constant chatter (this behavior results from the child's sense of helplessness) Listen to your children and ease their hyperactivity. If possible, try to give them a task or role. Gently lay down some boundaries. Do not argue with your children. Avoid telling them that they should not be feeling the way that they do.
Difficulty concentrating Difficulty allocating attention to one single thing, confusion, boredom, child not knowing what to do or with what to play. Give your children short, simple and clear tasks, to bring them back to balance slowly. Do not be angry with your children and do not pressure them.
Depression or apathy Silence, prolonged sadness, slow-down in activities, lack of appetite, vacant expression, puzzled look. Offer them attention. Initiate personal contact. Encourage them to talk and engage in a conversation. Offer them warm, liquid food for comfort. Do not show your children excessive pity nor anger.
Physical ailments or acute physical reactions Attempts to disengage from the surroundings, strong headaches, stomach aches, numbness in various body parts, significant insecurity. Express concern and attention, provide them with a comfortable and isolated place, consult a mental health professional. Do not blame the children and do not tell them "everything will be fine". Do not give them any medications without consulting a physician first.
Panic Attempts to run away, lapse of judgement, running amok in a random direction. Try to stop your children decisively and only use force as a last resort. Give them short, simple and clear tasks, to bring them back to balance slowly. Do not hit them, do not spill water on them, do not slap them, and do not make a scene. Do not give them any medications without consulting a physician first.
Other phenomena Thumb sucking, excessive masturbation, stuttering, twitching. In case of stuttering and twitching, consult a mental health specialist. Try to calm them using an invitation to engage in an activity, distraction or pleasant physical activity. Do not be alarmed by this phenomenon, do not threaten your children and do not punish them.

If your child suffers from one or more traumatic stress-associated behaviors for a prolonged period of time, or if the intensity of the signs worsens, you should seek psychological assistance.
Information about emotional support hotlines

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